Sujet :

quelle religion choisir?

   Posté le 13-04-2007 à 18:20:13   

salut a toutes et tous !!!

elle est tres bête celle qui suit mais je l'aime bien... aussi je vais vous la faire en anglais, vu que c'est ainsi que je l'ai découverte, que je pense que ça ne pose de problème pour personne, et surtout que ça semble bien mieux sonner dans cette langue

so: did you know that the SHIT is a world religion ???

there is the proof :

CONFUSCIANISM: Confuscius said "shit happen"

ISLAMISM: if shit happen, it is the will of Allah

ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit

HINDUISM: if shit happen, it is the karma

BUDDHISM: if shit happen, it isn't really shit

AGNOSTISCISM: what is this shit?

CATHOLISCISM: if shit happen, you deserve it

JUDAISM: why does this shit always happen to us ?

JEHOVAH WHITNESS : let me enter in your house and I will tell you why shit happen

ABRAXASISM: shit is only in your mind

RASTA VIEW : let's smoke this shit !
   Posté le 13-04-2007 à 18:42:05   

erf , j'en ai oublié une :

ZEN : what is the sound of shit happening?
   Posté le 13-04-2007 à 19:52:46   

T'en a oublié plein !!!

Citation :

Shit Happens
Shit happens, so flow with it.
If you can shit, it isn't shit.

Confuscius say, "Shit Happens."
Confuscius say, "If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."

If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
Shit will happen again to you next time.
Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.

Shit only Happens when it does not Happen
What is the sound of shit happening?
Shit is, and is not.

This Shit Happened before (and it will Happen again)
I've seen this shit happening before.
This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
This shit happening IS you.

If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah
We don't take any shit
If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
If shit happens, blame Israel.

Sunni Islam
If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd better submit!
Shiite happens.

Shi'ite Islam
If shit happens, take a hostage.

Nation of Islam
Don't take no shit!

Let Shit Happen to someone else!
If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
If shit happens, praise the Lord for it!

If Shit Happens, you deserve it!
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

Charismatic Catholicism
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Why does Shit always happen to us?
Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?

Reform Judaism
Got any laxatives?
Shit happens to whom it may concern.

Orthodox Judaism
So shit happens, already!

No shit.
What shit?
I don't believe this shit!
Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead.
It looks and smells like shit, so I'm damned if I'm going to taste it.
I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's shit.
Shit Happens for no apparent reason.

I think Shit Happens.
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not.
What is this shit?!
I don't know shit!
How can we KNOW if shit happens?
You can't prove any of this shit!
Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Did someone shit?

Deal with shit one day at a time.

I believe Shit Happens! (Amen!)
You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.
We'll wash the shit right off you.

Southern Baptist
Shit will happen. Praise the lord!

Shiite Baptist
Shit will happen, but only the way we say it will happen and if it doesn't happen we will make it happen because that's God's will and we know it...

Iraqi Baptist
Oh shit!

Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
Let's stick some pins in this shit!
This shit's gonna get you!

Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...

Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.

Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
What is this Shit?
We affirm the right for shit to happen.
Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.
Come let us reason together about this shit.

St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Greek Orthodox
Shit happens, usually in threes.

I am at cause that shit will not happen.
You're responsible for all the shit that happens.

There's no shit in the Bible.
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Shit happens, but don't publish it.

Twelve Step
Shit happens one day at a time.

Shit is good for the soil.
This modern shit is worthless.

Native Americans
Shit is sacred when it happens.

You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
Sushi happens.

Only happy shit really happens.

Feces occurs.
If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

Hare Krishna
Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.

I Shit, therefore I am. (Defeco ergo sum)

New Age Religion
Shit came to me in a vision...
That's not shit, it's feldspar.
A firm shit does not happen to me.
This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
I create my own shit.
If shit happens, honor it and share it.
Were all part of the same shit.
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

Let's smoke this shit.
Hey, this is good shit, mon.

If you send shit out into the world, it will return to you threefold.
Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Shit's everywhere

Energizer Bunny
Shit happens and happens and happens and ...

If shit happens, the Church gets 10%
If shit happens, shun it.
Let the shit multiply.
Excrement happens. (you can't say 'shit' in Utah)
Hey, there's more shit happening over here!
God sent us this shit.
Shit happens again & again & again ...

This shit doesn't bother me.
This shit happening is good for me.

There's nothing like a good shit happening.

Jehovah's Witnesses
Knock, knock. Shit happens.
No shit happens until Armaggedon.
There is only a limited amount of good shit.
Here, we insist you take our shit.
Shit happens door to door.
Open the door and I'll show you what shit is.
Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.
Let us in and we will tell you why Shit Happens.

Secular Humanism
Shit evolves.

Survival of the shittiest.
This shit was once food.

... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and there came piles of it. After six days of this shit, He rested.
God made all shit.
Shit has only been happening since October 23rd 4004 B.C.

Christian Science
When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
Shit doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it.
Our shit will take care of itself.
Shit happens in your mind.

New Life Christian
Pay us money or shit will happen.

This shit does not stink.

It's everybody's shit.

Let's package this shit.
That's MY shit!

Quantum Physics
The probability that shit will happen is...
Shit is a wave and a particle!

Branch Davidianism
David Koresh: I am the shit!
May shit happen to the FBI!
If shit happens, have a BIG barbecue...
David thinks he's hot shit.

I see shit happening in your future...

Same shit, different pile
Why do you keep shitting on us?
Shit happens universally.

7th Day Adventism
Shit happens on Saturdays
No shit shall happen on Saturday.

This shit was bound to happen.

Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

If shit happens, hold a procession.
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Have faith that shit will happen.
If shit happens, don't talk about it.

It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

Let us not fight over this shit.

If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
The Goddess makes shit happen.
An it harm none, let shit happen.

Shit happens half the time.
Christianity stole half its shit from us.

This is really weird shit.

Shit happens over there
Heaven's gate
*I'm leaving this shit to you

Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.

What is this AMORC shit?

We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
We will make your shit happen.
*If shit happens, it's your own goddamn fault, so don't whine about it.

Let's resolve this shit peacefully

Mix this shit together and it will happen!

All this happens to be shit.
If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
This shit happened before, but we can clean it up if you pay us enough.

This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!
Men are shit.

We may be shit, but you can't live without us...

From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

Let's bronze this shit.

Whoaa...Holy Shit!

Leave our shit alone.

Smells like shit of finnish fish.

You are all pieces of shit.

Lubavitcher Hassidism
Blessed are they upon whom He sends His most holy Shit to happen.

Bull shit happens.

If shit happens and nobody hears it, did it really make a sound?

She's full of shit!
He's fooling around with some worthless piece of shit.

Shit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.

What's shit, and where can I get some?

Spam happens.

Shit has happened. For $20 "BoB" will sell you a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT.

   Posté le 30-08-2010 à 09:43:17   

c'est bien beau la consonance anglaise
mais soyez pas trop égoïste et pensez à ceux qui ne savent pas lire l'anglais
alors une traduction serai sympa merci
   Posté le 18-09-2010 à 19:51:50   

Je voudrais juste connaitre la source de la citation d'Abraxas, pour pouvoir la récupérer.