quelle religion choisir?

Citation :

Taoism
Shit Happens
Shit happens, so flow with it.
If you can shit, it isn't shit.

Confuscianism
Confuscius say, "Shit Happens."
Confuscius say, "If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."

Buddhism
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
Shit will happen again to you next time.
Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.

Zen
Shit only Happens when it does not Happen
What is the sound of shit happening?
Shit is, and is not.

Hinduism
This Shit Happened before (and it will Happen again)
I've seen this shit happening before.
This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
This shit happening IS you.

Islam
If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah
We don't take any shit
If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
If shit happens, blame Israel.

Sunni Islam
If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd better submit!
Shiite happens.

Shi'ite Islam
WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
If shit happens, take a hostage.

Nation of Islam
Don't take no shit!

Protestant
Let Shit Happen to someone else!
If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
If shit happens, praise the Lord for it!

Catholic
If Shit Happens, you deserve it!
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

Charismatic Catholicism
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

Judaism
Why does Shit always happen to us?
Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?

Reform Judaism
Got any laxatives?
Shit happens to whom it may concern.

Orthodox Judaism
So shit happens, already!

Atheism
No shit.
What shit?
I don't believe this shit!
Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead.
It looks and smells like shit, so I'm damned if I'm going to taste it.
I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's shit.
Shit Happens for no apparent reason.

Agnosticism
I think Shit Happens.
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not sure whether its shit or not.
What is this shit?!
I don't know shit!
How can we KNOW if shit happens?
You can't prove any of this shit!
Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Did someone shit?

Practical
Deal with shit one day at a time.

Baptist
I believe Shit Happens! (Amen!)
You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.
We'll wash the shit right off you.

Southern Baptist
Shit will happen. Praise the lord!

Shiite Baptist
Shit will happen, but only the way we say it will happen and if it doesn't happen we will make it happen because that's God's will and we know it...

Iraqi Baptist
Oh shit!

Voodoo
Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
Let's stick some pins in this shit!
This shit's gonna get you!

Televangelism
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...

Congregationalism
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.

Unitarianism
Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
What is this Shit?
We affirm the right for shit to happen.
Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
It's not the shit that matters. It's the process.
Come let us reason together about this shit.

Orthodox
St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Greek Orthodox
Shit happens, usually in threes.

EST
I am at cause that shit will not happen.
You're responsible for all the shit that happens.

Fundamentalism
There's no shit in the Bible.
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Shit happens, but don't publish it.

Twelve Step
Shit happens one day at a time.

Amish
Shit is good for the soil.
This modern shit is worthless.

Native Americans
Shit is sacred when it happens.

Shintoism
You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
Sushi happens.

Moonies
Only happy shit really happens.

Scientologist
Feces occurs.
If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

Hare Krishna
ShitHappensShitHappensShitHappens...
Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.

Existentialism
I Shit, therefore I am. (Defeco ergo sum)

New Age Religion
Shit came to me in a vision...
That's not shit, it's feldspar.
A firm shit does not happen to me.
This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
I create my own shit.
If shit happens, honor it and share it.
Sheeeeeeeeeeit!
Were all part of the same shit.
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit.
Hey, this is good shit, mon.

Paganism
If you send shit out into the world, it will return to you threefold.
Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Shit's everywhere

Energizer Bunny
Shit happens and happens and happens and ...

Mormons
If shit happens, the Church gets 10%
If shit happens, shun it.
Let the shit multiply.
Excrement happens. (you can't say 'shit' in Utah)
Hey, there's more shit happening over here!
God sent us this shit.
Shit happens again & again & again ...

Stoics
This shit doesn't bother me.
This shit happening is good for me.

Hedonists
There's nothing like a good shit happening.

Jehovah's Witnesses
Knock, knock. Shit happens.
No shit happens until Armaggedon.
There is only a limited amount of good shit.
Here, we insist you take our shit.
Shit happens door to door.
Open the door and I'll show you what shit is.
Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.
Let us in and we will tell you why Shit Happens.

Secular Humanism
Shit evolves.

Darwinism
Survival of the shittiest.
This shit was once food.

Creationism
... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and there came piles of it. After six days of this shit, He rested.
God made all shit.
Shit has only been happening since October 23rd 4004 B.C.

Christian Science
When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
Shit doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it.
Our shit will take care of itself.
Shit happens in your mind.

New Life Christian
Pay us money or shit will happen.

Utopianism
This shit does not stink.

Communism
It's everybody's shit.

Commercialism
Let's package this shit.
That's MY shit!

Quantum Physics
The probability that shit will happen is...
Shit is a wave and a particle!

Branch Davidianism
David Koresh: I am the shit!
May shit happen to the FBI!
If shit happens, have a BIG barbecue...
David thinks he's hot shit.

Occultism
I see shit happening in your future...

Bhaiism
Same shit, different pile
Why do you keep shitting on us?
Shit happens universally.

7th Day Adventism
Shit happens on Saturdays
No shit shall happen on Saturday.

Presbyterianism
This shit was bound to happen.

Calvinism
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Episcopalianism
If shit happens, hold a procession.
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

Methodist
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

Lutheranism
Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Have faith that shit will happen.
If shit happens, don't talk about it.

Anglicanism
It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

Quakers
Let us not fight over this shit.

Wicca
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
The Goddess makes shit happen.
An it harm none, let shit happen.

Zoroastrianism
Shit happens half the time.
Christianity stole half its shit from us.

Mysticism
This is really weird shit.

Deism
Shit happens over there
Heaven's gate
*I'm leaving this shit to you

Rajhneesh
Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.

Rosicrucianism
What is this AMORC shit?

Satanism
We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
We will make your shit happen.
SNEPPAH TIHS.
*If shit happens, it's your own goddamn fault, so don't whine about it.

Pacifism
Let's resolve this shit peacefully

Witchcraft
Mix this shit together and it will happen!

Scientology
All this happens to be shit.
If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
This shit happened before, but we can clean it up if you pay us enough.

Feminism
This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!
Men are shit.

Chauvinism
We may be shit, but you can't live without us...

Impressionism
From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

Idolism
Let's bronze this shit.

Shamanism
Whoaa...Holy Shit!

Sikhism
Leave our shit alone.

Moilanenism
Smells like shit of finnish fish.

Sureshism
You are all pieces of shit.

Lubavitcher Hassidism
Blessed are they upon whom He sends His most holy Shit to happen.

Mithraism
Bull shit happens.

Jesuitism
If shit happens and nobody hears it, did it really make a sound?

Divorcism
She's full of shit!
He's fooling around with some worthless piece of shit.

Discordianism
Shit makes the flowers grow and that's beautiful.

Kibology
What's shit, and where can I get some?

Spam
Spam happens.

SubGenius
Shit has happened. For $20 "BoB" will sell you a way to MAKE MONEY FROM IT.